2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

Per Linda:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ch.” Find a word that starts with “ch” and use it as your prompt word. Bonus points if you start your post with that word. Enjoy!

 

Well, my first thought, if we are streaming, is:

 

Ch-ch-ch-changes is what we are all dealing with. Remember all the TV psychologists that were preaching about the time it takes to form a new habit? Yeah, that is where we are. Adjusting and reminding ourselves to do the things it takes to keep ourselves and others healthy. It is scary. If not personally, then for loved-ones.

I remember as my grandparents and then my mother lay in the hospitals very ill about thirty years and more ago. I wouldn’t bring my four youngsters around for fear that they might have a cold or something that would be caught by my sickly elders. There was no COVID19 then. I couldn’t bear the guilt should I through my recklessness if they would die. How could anyone not want to try and keep everyone healthy? I don’t understand the childish tantrums.

Well, I do understand the frustration. It is adjusting to the habits and changes that trying to stay healthy and hopefully not make others sick is sometimes overwhelming. It makes me have nightmares. I find myself writing a lot. Especially thinking about, what if this is the last time… What if I won’t see another friend or family member, regardless if it is me or them that go… There is not much in the way of a will, as, what do I have, anyway? Still, I think about things and realize that I wouldn’t want the things. I want my loved one. What if they get the stroke version or the toe-gunk or the having to be on ventilators. Death may not be the worst. Maybe it will be the suffering they, or I will deal with.

All the more stress is added to just getting food into the house. Remember when we could go to the store, hug friends if we meet them there. Stand and talk for hours in the vegetable section. Sure you’d have to get out of the way of other shoppers but they’d smile and just go around. Then the hardest thing was making sure you got everything on the list, because who wants to go to the store more often than once a week. For us, it was twice a month. We’d drive to the city 90 miles away to do the whole thing. With this, we do all the shopping in two little stores in a frontier town. Imagine grocery shopping at the convenience store. Not bad for picking stuff up for the weekend barbeque. But for daily meals with any healthy values it is very hard to do.

Oh, we all know how scary that march into the house and putting it all away is. And then the counting days from the last outing for 14 days. These are habits we didn’t learn. They are still not fully formed habits. Had it been so easy as to just washing our hands more, that would have been a hard new habit to squeeze into our every day. But all of the rest of this is hard for all of us. The sanest people are having problems with it. We are running for our lives, the lives of the medical folks who will be taking care of us or our loved ones. We have to keep reminding ourselves of that. The changes sometimes seem beyond our reach.

I was never a Bowie fan but here are the words to the song:

David Bowie Lyrics

“Changes”

I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
And every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that testCh-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Where’s your shame
You’ve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace
I’m going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time