Thus Thursday

I’m doing my best to be my usual positive self despite the mully grubs of reality.

Snow. Lots. Just not all at once. It gets to this level, melts and reflakes.

We’ve got a couple more hours then it will be windy.

Meanwhile, my therapy of knitting keeps my hands moving while I process life, pets, and loved ones no longer with us.

My son and his girlfriend are traveling up. Snow or no snow. These socks are for them.

Nearly all the yarn for both pairs has been used up. I hope I’m done by tomorrow evening when they get here.

The reason for their scary mission is a memorial for my first dear sister in love. That’ll be Saturday in Portland. For my son it will be a 12 hour or more drive in much worse conditions than we have here. That’s how beloved Barb was/is for us.

I wanted to go. But my body is telling me that’s too long to be in a car. I used to handle long drives. But, especially being emotionally distraught from the losses of my furry friends, it seems far too much.

My older son is being picked up by the younger couple on the mission. I must admit to being very worried for all of them. As much as I would love to see my nieces and nephews, and sharing my condolences, I just can’t. I think I’ll write a letter or record my thoughts for them.

All of this plays on the huge housecleaning we need from our poor sickly Kali. We’ve done some but we are exhausted and can’t do as much as our younger selves could have accomplished.

One thing at a time. Doing what we can with what we’ve got. Sending and accepting love. Healthy mind and body.

Depression

I usually try to be uplifting. But situational depression is attacking. Cold, windy weather,

Treadmill broken waiting for companies to do their part in replacing or fixing this unit.

Probably the biggest weight is my poor dog as she goes downhill. Nothing we can do. It’s part of life.

And my therapy is knitting. Unfortunately I’ve spent today making and tinking two heels. A whole day just to get back where I started.

Something I learned in real therapy is to look for the good of the day. Okay. I got my resistance bands in the mail. I plan to try them out tomorrow.

I did get a bit of editing done. I just wonder how much my mental state affects my writing and knitting. Maybe I should take a couple days off and knit hats and color. Then it might be more soothing to my spirit.

What do you do when life sucks and you want to cheer up?

Review: In Pieces by Sally Field

In Pieces by Sally Field
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I have always loved Sally Field. I was quite young when she did the Gidget and the Flying Nun. I always wished I could fly. I was much older when Sibil came out. I read the book and loved how Ms. Field acted the part. But aside from the roles she played, I felt her a person I would like to get to know. I know there was more to her than the girlie comic of Gidget and the Nun. Much later, Norma Rae and Steel Magnolias proved it.

But what of her person? How did she feel? Sally read her autobiography so you could feel her pain or joys.

I highly recommend this in audio form. I was lucky to find it on Libby. Oh, and have Kleenex for the ending. At three in the morning, as I finished, I was a sloppy mess!

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Review: Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up by Selma Blair

Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up by Selma Blair
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Many reviews about this book are high, some are low ratings. It’s her life. I don’t think it is up to me to judge it. Her life is far different than mine. Yet, I found a deep dive into another life, another memoir gave me insight into writing my own.

Until I saw Selma Blair on the View, I think it was, I had only heard the name and couldn’t put a face with the name. Not too uncommon for me with anyone. Her movies weren’t my type of movie. But I have known friends and loved ones that had MS. It is such a horrifying disease. I was curious to see how this person handled it.

If you like autobiographies, memoirs, this is for you. If you don’t, you might move forward to another read. Ms. Blair gets personal and honest about many aspects of her life. I found the writing well done. And her voice is actively involved; honest tears are felt when she reads the parts most vulnerable.

Since her life always included pain and depression, it is spelled out quite often. If that is triggering for you, this might not be the read for you. It does help to see how someone else worked through her own darkness. I think it was worth the read.

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One-Liner Wednesday

Anyone else feeling the post NaNoWriMo now editing blues?

One-Liner Wednesday brought to us by Linda G. Hill

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

Review:

The Carolina Diaries: Belle

by Darlene Winters

The Carolina Diaries: Belle by Darlene Winters
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I don’t know. This was hard to read. It is hard to review. It feels autobiographical. Though it–

I don’t do this often as I figure people will go read the blurbs themselves. But this and the reviews make me wonder if I read the same book.

“Her cousin wants to die. She has the whole roadtrip to convince her otherwise.

Darlene only knows of one way to help her cousin Belle after a life of disappointments–go with her on a cross-country road trip, head back to California where Belle was born… and where she intends to die.

But deep family resentments and drama rides with them across the country, shedding light on heavy themes like sexual abuse and depression, as well as religion and politics. Growing up in North Carolina, these cousins have a lot of stories to share: some sad, some comical, and some just down right disturbing.

If you enjoyed Little Miss Sunshine and Girl, Interrupted, you’ll want to read The Carolina Diaries with its unique blend of dark humor and even darker perspectives of life past, present and future; the real take-aways being how to cope and heal.”

I found no humor. I wish I hadn’t picked it up. It was exactly what I don’t want to read before bed. All the reality of our daily news lives during this pandemic. And though I agree with the author on a lot of stances, I couldn’t deal with it in my bedtime fiction.

My fault. I saw road trip, my first name, and didn’t read the description.

Maybe if I read it during the day I could see the humor in a suicidal cutter who had lived with so much abuse, of every kind, during a pandemic during the political turmoil of 2020. No. I don’t think so.

The reason I am not giving this a lower rating is the list of good books and ideas the author presents. Unfortunately, the way it’s presented makes me sure the ones who need the information will not see it. Still, there’s a chance I could be wrong.

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The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon

The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I don’t know who recommended this book for me. Whoever, thank you! This was so interesting!

Having borrowed the Libby audio narrated by the author, I now hope to buy the book someday.

The thing is, this is more than a book about depression, or even one person’s account of his own journey. This book includes a bit of history of the diagnosis and treatment for centuries. It also includes how the disorder affects different socioeconomic sets of people.

I highly recommend this for anyone who has gone through depression or know of others who might be suffering. It leads to not only a deeper understanding, but medical issues and ways to find health.

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Review: Pulse by L.R. Burkard

Pulse by L.R. Burkard
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

What if a solar EMP hit and all electronics, even in cars and landline phones stopped working and it was in the middle of one of our coldest winters? Good plot premise.

Three teen girls from the same clique at school can’t get to each other or school. Written in their points of view in their journals, first person. And not too much teen romantic angst.

Sounds like my kind of book.

If it had stayed with the above status I would have loved it.

It was a political anti-everyone that isn’t them propaganda. Gun carrying prolifers–only ours, no one else’s counts. Judgemental as all get out.

I believe the best Christians are humble and caring for others. No matter whether they think or look like me or not. ‘We are all made in the image of God.’ ‘Judge not lest ye be judged.’ ‘Thou shalt not kill.’ The christians in this book represent a lot of people who pick and choose which verses to preach believing it makes them more holy.

Stepping off my soapbox now. There were plenty of different scenarios in how folks are dealing with this new world. In real life right now, we are going through a very cold snowy winter so a lot is believable.

Hunger is the first and biggest problem in this story as there are no stores or ways to get food. As abhorrent as a lot of the book is, the writing is good and I didn’t throw it across the room because there are all kinds of people in this world and this story is from one kind of view.

Which is why I felt shooting that many people, thinking they were in the right and others who were hungry were wrong… was wrong.

What would I do if I lived through the situation our main characters were in? Is there a way as we prepare for such as this that we try to share our abundance. As we prepare we have to remember that our case of food is kept in our car or home and the catastrophe is an earthquake, volcano, or fire and that case of food is destroyed. When we are prepared but but end up the hungry ones, how would we like to be treated? I have rarely missed a meal. I can’t imagine being that cold, tired, and hungry.

Regardless of politics, I’m glad I read it. I won’t bother with the rest of the series. There are a lot better sci-fi’s to see the post-apocalypse through a more open-minded prep and love.

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Just Jot It January Prompt: Curiosity 2019012

Feel free to skip this one.

I wonder. What is the opposite of curiosity? I think I am feeling it right now. depression that is all worn out and has become apathy. I can’t get into winter as there’s been very little snow and mostly cold. It was a high of 35 today and our low will be 32. Why bother?

And you know it isn’t the weather that is wearing me down. It is the smallest part of all of this.

I will try to look at some positive things here. I have only missed a day of JJIJ. I have only missed a day of chair yoga. I have only missed a day of language lessons on Duolingo. We’re still breathing in and out. Nope. Not getting there.

Do I dare discuss it? Will I make enemies? If I can’t help raise the mood for those who may be facing homelessness is worth the writing?

My curiosity runs to a time machine right now. I want to see what our country will be like with no government. Ah, a vacancy for that other one to come in and take over. All because folks are afraid due to media. Why are the Washington, DC folks still being paid? Those who have had more days off than on. Maybe a flame would hit their souls if it hit their pocketbooks to the degree of those they think work for them. Especially the one who started it all. I try not to give that one any of my attention. That person has no name or physical attributes to talk about. Puppets have more personal actuality.

But will my time machine show the puppeteer to have full control in very few years because of the puppet? That is the only place curiosity is taking me and it is a downward spiral.

Jot and Prompt.

Review: The Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times by Jennifer Worth

The Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times by Jennifer Worth
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

As an addict of the BBC show, Call the Midwife, I couldn’t resist getting the Kindle and Audible versions of the book. As usual, the book is better than the show, but not by much. Books always give more insight into the thinking of a character, something film cannot capture properly.

Jennifer Worth’s memoir takes us to another time and the way people were then. Science, especially nursing and midwifery were new. Much was done by ‘old wives tales’ in the beginning but as medical science developed, giving birth sometimes took back steps. Ms. Worth shows us the mistakes and the achievements womanhood gained when men took over the most female of jobs.

But these aren’t just about the theories. We learn of Jennifer’s life as a nurse and midwife as she lived in the convent of nuns. The characters of the TV show are there in full glory. My favorite, Chummy, isn’t seen as much as I’d like (neither is Miranda Hart in the show as much as I’d like). But it is comical to watch her learn to be a midwife in her tall, elegant way.

I love how both the show (which seem to stick closely to Worth’s story) carefully lead us through patients lives and how pregnancy and motherhood impacted daily life post-WWII. Jennifer Worth’s writing is impeccable and yet poetic. It is fun to watch as she grows to become a stronger person and midwife as the book progresses.

Oh, and a note for the lovely narrator: Nicola Barber. Though it took me a minute to get used to her, I was so happy I did. She could do the cockney or the more proper British if needed and kept my interest piqued.

I would hope everyone reads and watches these as there is much to learn here. I can’t wait to read the next book.

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